


Identity

by Starbooks13



Category: Glee, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Everybody, BAMF Kurt, BAMF Loki, Bisexual Character, Blaine Anderson is Tony Stark's Son, But Coulson still Lives, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Canon Divergence-Post-Glee Season 2, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming of Age, Coulson Lives, Doppelganger, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, F/M, Family Problems, Fate & Destiny, Gen, Humor, Identity Issues, Just Emphasizing That, Kurt Has Superpowers, Kurt Hummel is Loki Laufeyson's Son, Kurt Hummel-Centric, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Likes Anything That Moves, Loki is Kurt's Mother, Loki's Kids, M/M, Magic, Minor Domestic Avengers, Multi, No Agents of SHIELD, No Phase Two, None of that has happened, Only Phase One, Other, Overprotective!Tony, Parent Issues, Parent-Child Relationship, Pregnant Sue Sylvester, Protective!Kurt, Protective!Loki, Protective!Mr. Schue, Secret Identity, Shapeshifting, Sneaky!Blaine, Sort of Fix-Fic for Glee Season 3, The Author Regrets Nothing, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor is a good uncle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2503283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbooks13/pseuds/Starbooks13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel's life is going pretty well.  He's got a wonderful family (that just happens to include Norse deities), great friends (who don't know that), the world's most amazing boyfriend (who is also Iron Man's son), and his adult future is shaping up to look way better than high school (except for the part where his mom wants him to pick sides for the end of the world).  But when a case of mistaken identity brings the New Directions into the Avengers' orbit, Kurt's two worlds stand on the verge of a deadly collision and he will be forced to choose his destiny--or risk losing someone he loves forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Party Crasher

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenmab24601](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmab24601/gifts), [tigriswolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/gifts).



> I originally wrote this for a double prompt on Avengerkink (one of which I prompted myself) that requested both Holly Holliday getting mistaken for Pepper and Kurt and Blaine being Loki and Tony's children (respectively) and causing trouble for the Avengers. This was about two-ish years ago at the height of the "Kurt and Blaine as Avenger Kids" craze, before Avengers even came out, and it's not yet complete even on the other site (additionally, for those who may have seen the original story, there might be a few changes to the post here due to editing). But I've been wanting to post what I had here for a long time. The Age of Ultron trailer finally motivated me to get the story rolling so it won't be completely outdated by the time it's finished. ;)
> 
> Also, I only really watched Glee during Season 2, and since this is a semi-Season 3 AU you can expect the characters to generally act like they did circa Seasons 2&3\. If they still come off OOC even for that time period in the show's run to true Glee fans, I apologize in advance.
> 
> Finally, I gift this fic to tigriswolf, whose Kurt-as-Loki's-son fics were a heavy source of inspiration for me when writing this story, and to queenmab24601 along with all my (platonic!) love, as she is the world's greatest brainstorming partner, my resource for all things Glee and non-MCU Marvel, and my sister-in-all-but-blood, without whom neither this story nor my fic "Never Underestimate A Girl" would have ever gotten written. I'm going to start working on the Teddy Altman chapter again, I swear! ;)

                Kurt Hummel had never thought he’d be bored at a high-class New York soiree.  Yet here he stood, non-alcoholic beverage in hand, watching the party go on around him with no clue what to do.  Blaine was there too, but his dad had kidnapped him to introduce him to board members and stock investors a half-hour ago.  Judging from whatever animated conversation Blaine appeared to be having with the latest round of new faces, it didn’t look like his boyfriend was coming back over anytime soon.

                He was still getting over the fact that Blaine’s dad was _Tony Stark_ , even though he’d known about it for months.  Not many other people did, though—Mr. Stark was very careful to conceal the fact that he had a son.  Blaine had told Kurt that he always thought it was because his dad was ashamed of him, but from what Kurt had seen during his stay in New York, Mr. Stark didn’t seem to be ashamed of Blaine.  In fact, he seemed to be doing everything in his power to show Blaine how proud of him he was.

                No, if Kurt had to guess why Mr. Stark didn’t want Blaine’s parentage to be common knowledge, it would be because he was, you know, _Tony Stark_ , and also _Iron Man_.  Kurt could name ten very powerful, very dangerous people off the top of his head that would kill for the knowledge that Tony Stark had a son, and he knew there were a lot more than that in reality.  He understood better than most people that keeping one’s heritage a secret did not mean that your parents didn’t love you.  It just meant you were a lot safer if no one else knew.

                The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood up.  Speaking of which…

                He straightened immediately, eyes darting around the room.  He looked at Thor first, but the giant Asgardian warrior was dancing happily—and somewhat sloppily—with Dr. Foster and didn’t seem to have noticed anything.  The other Avengers didn’t seem bothered, either.  Mr. Stark was with Blaine.  Captain Rogers (who was probably one of the most genuine people Kurt had ever met) and Dr. Banner (who Kurt had thankfully never seen turn green) were talking with Agent Coulson (who was totally the Avengers’ babysitter, just like Blaine had said).  Agent Barton (whose gorgeous arms Kurt had only checked out a little bit—just a little!) was flirting outrageously with several attractive women. 

                But then Kurt spotted Agent Romanoff (living proof that the female of the species was deadlier than the male) talking with Miss Potts (who Kurt swore was Holly Holiday’s long-lost identical twin).  More important, though, was the tall, dark-haired man in an absurdly expensive, meticulously tailored suit leaning against the opposite wall, watching the shorter redhead with clear interest.  Putting his drink down, Kurt slipped through the crowd to where the man stood, seemingly invisible to the rest of the party.  For all Kurt knew, he really was invisible.

                He leaned against the wall next to the man.  “Hi, Mom,” he said softly.

                Before he could so much as blink the two of them were outside on the balcony overlooking New York.  Stark Tower really did have one of the best views in the city.

                Loki Laufeyson, Norse God of Mischief and Kurt’s mother (yes, _mother_ , it’s a long story) gave him a warm, genuine smile, and quickly enveloped Kurt in a loving embrace.  “Hello, darling.  Having a good summer?”

                Kurt pulled back and returned the smile.  “Totally.  Mr. Stark’s way more awesome than Blaine made him sound.”

                “He’s treating you well?”

                He rolled his eyes.  “Is that why you’re here?  Please, Mom, I can take care of myself.”

                His mother smirked in response.  “I should hope so.”

                Kurt regarded him warily.  As happy as he was to see his mother, the fact that Loki was here, in person, at one of Tony Stark’s parties, made him feel uneasy.  “So what are you doing here?  Aside from staring at Black Widow’s rear end, that is.”

                Loki chuckled.  “Does it displease you, my interest in her?”

                Kurt turned red and made a face.  “No one ever wants to know about their parents’ sex lives.  And yours is a little more…colorful than most.”

                His mother laughed.  “Well, that’s one way of putting it.”

                Kurt shuddered.  “Not that I don’t adore Slepnir, but seriously, a horse?”

                Loki’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “Kurt.”

                He held up his hands in apology.  “Okay, sorry, geez.  No need to give me that look, I’m not a kid anymore.”

                His mother looked him over from head to toe, and Kurt felt himself getting even smaller under that fierce gaze.  “No, you aren’t.”

                He let his arms drop and walked over to the balcony railing, turning his back to his mother as he leaned against it. “What do you want, Mom?  What’s so important that you had to come here in person?”

                His mother sighed before joining him at the rail.  “You recall that I told you I still lived before I informed your father.”

                Kurt snorted.  “Dad thought I was going crazy, talking about myths and monsters and magic.  Not that the others are monsters,” he added quickly, glancing at his mother. 

                “I understood what you meant, dearest.”

                “So, what about it?  I mean, I know you told Dad.  He talked to me about it after.”

                “When I told you father, he made me promise in the most sacred oath I could make that I would not get you involved in anything until you reached maturity.  But you are nearly grown now.  ” Loki’s expression darkened slightly.  “And this boy of yours…changes things.”

                Kurt felt his face pale. He’d thought his mother was okay with Blaine.  This was _not_ good.  Panicking, he focused on the first half of the statement.  “What do you mean, ‘not get me involved’?” 

                “You are seventeen now, Kurt.   In less than a year, you will graduate from high school and become an adult.  And I believe it is time you embraced your heritage fully.”

                “Meaning?”

                “Meaning it’s time you took your rightful place at my side.  You have a destiny far greater than anything in this realm, whether you like it or not.  You are my son, and your talents deserve far more than the fleeting praise of mortals.” Loki’s face twisted into a vicious sneer.  “And they have heaped contempt upon you far too often for my liking, though I commend your self-control.”

                Kurt’s eyes went wide.  “Y-you mean you want me to join you?  You want me to tell people who I am?”

                “Yes to the first, and no to the second.” The sneer faded into a look of concern.  “It’s still not safe enough for the world to know of your existence.  All I want to know is whether or not you are willing to join me when the time comes.  Your siblings have all pledged themselves to me.  I have not asked it of you yet because of my promise to your father, and until you finish high school, I do not expect an answer.  But I sincerely wish to know.”  Loki placed a hand on his shoulder.  “And I believe that no matter what answer you ultimately give me, you should tell Blaine the truth about who you are.”

                Kurt’s mind was reeling from too much information.  Again, he focused on the one thing he thought he could deal with at the moment.  “You, the God of Lies, want me to tell the truth.”

                His mother couldn’t help but smile at that.  “As difficult as it is to accept, yes, I do.”

                “But why?  Why on earth would you want me to tell Blaine when you don’t want me to tell anyone else?”

                “Because you love him, child.  And given time, those feelings will only grow deeper and stronger.  I know a love that lasts lifetimes when I see it.  The longer you wait to tell him the truth, the more painful it might be if he rejects you because of it.”

                “Rejects me?” Call him a hormone-addled teenager (which he is and he won’t deny it), but at that moment Kurt couldn’t comprehend life without Blaine.  The other boy had become such a loving, wonderful constant in his not-always-wonderful life that the thought of losing him for any reason was unbearable.  Especially if it was because of who their parents were (the _Romeo & Juliet _route always seemed to end in tragedy). 

                “It’s a possibility, sweetheart.” His mother’s voice was soothing, like when she used to comfort him after a nightmare when he was young.  “He is Tony Stark’s son.  And while the heartbreak will not hurt any less if you tell him now than later, the earlier you tell him, the better the chances of you recovering and learning to love again will be.”

                It was Loki’s tone that snapped Kurt out of it.  He acted as though it was a foregone conclusion that Blaine would abandon him.  Kurt pulled away from his mother.  “You’re wrong.  Blaine loves me.  He’s going to go to McKinley next year with me. _For_ me.  Because he wants to be with me, no matter the consequences.  And trust me Mom, being an openly gay teenager in a Midwest high school is a much more relevant issue to us than being the son of either Tony Stark or Loki Laufeyson.”

                Loki’s face turned into a cold, inscrutable mask.  “If he truly loves you that much, then he will accept you.  But remember my words, little one.  Come your graduation, I will have an answer from you as to where your loyalties lie.  And should your Blaine accept you, I will expect his answer to be in agreement with your own.”

                Kurt wasn’t sure whether to be enraged, terrified, or shocked.  “Are…are you threatening me, Mom?”

                The mask melted briefly, and he saw the sorrow in his mother’s eyes.  “You are my son.  No matter what you choose, I will love you until Ragnarok and beyond.”  But the ice quickly returned.  “However, if you and those you care for stand in my way, I cannot promise that your loved ones will survive my wrath.”

                Kurt grabbed hold of the railing to keep from falling over, his knuckles turning as white as his face.  He wanted to call Loki’s bluff, but he was not the son of the Liesmith for nothing.  He knew his mother spoke nothing but the truth.  “Mom, please don’t do this.”

                “I am truly sorry, Kurt.  I never wanted any of this for my children.  All I want is to keep you safe, and if the only way I can do that is by bringing the Nine Realms to their knees, then so be it.”  Without warning, his mother pulled him into another hug, and Kurt let him.  He buried his face into his mother’s suit jacket and tried to fight the tears he could feel coming.  His mother stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.  “You have time, love.  Think about it.  Tell Blaine.  Speak to him of it.  Speak to your father, if you absolutely must.  But the choice must be yours and yours alone.”

                “Kurt?”

                Kurt sprang back at the sound of Blaine’s voice, terrified.  His mother was gone, but he knew he probably looked like a mess.  And what had Blaine seen?  “Geez, Blaine,” he gasped, trying to regain control over himself.  “Don’t scare me like that.”

                Blaine’s handsome face was filled with worry.  “Oh my God, are you okay?”  He immediately ran over and pulled Kurt into a hug. Kurt clung to him like a lifeline, relieved beyond measure.  Blaine hadn’t seen anything.  “I went to find you after Dad finished introducing me to people, but no one had seen you.  Kurt, what’s wrong?”

                Before Kurt could respond, Mr. Stark burst out onto the balcony with Miss Potts and Captain Rogers hot on his heels.  “Blaine! Kurt! Get inside, now!”

                The two teenagers jerked apart.  “Dad, what is it?” Blaine asked. 

                “Loki,” Mr. Stark spat.  “JARVIS just picked up his energy signal in the building.  Hate to say it, kids, but the party’s over.  We’re going into lockdown, effective immediately.”

                What followed was a very long, very stressful twenty-four hours where no one could leave Stark Tower, which suffered severe damage on several floors from various magical traps Loki had left behind.  To Kurt it was nothing short of a god-send (literally) because it gave him time to think.  That way, when sometime later Blaine asked him again what had been wrong (because he really, truly cared, and that was one of the many reasons why Kurt loved him), Kurt could give him a reasonable explanation.  It wasn’t completely a lie, either.  He simply told Blaine he’d started thinking about his mother and gotten homesick.  And Blaine (dear, wonderful, trusting Blaine) believed him.

                It made Kurt a little sick that even after Blaine had trusted him with such a big secret Kurt still felt like he had to lie to him.  But he wasn’t going to tell Blaine; he couldn’t, not now.  Not if he wanted this next year, possibly the last year he would have as an ordinary human being, to be anything less than perfect.

                And he was determined that it _would_ be perfect.  He was going to have a wonderful senior year, with a nice, normal boyfriend who loved him.  He was going to get into a theater school in New York with Rachel, and together they were going to help the New Directions win Nationals.  The terrors of junior year were behind him, and he was not going to let a new set of fears take over his life.  Until graduation came around, his mother could go to Hel. 

                He probably would.  Kurt’s big sister loved visitors.


	2. A Senior Year in Summary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which this world's version of Glee Season 3 is briefly summarized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where, from a Glee standpoint at least, the AU really starts to kick in. For fans of the show, most of the events stayed the same, but there are some changes that came about because of the nature of a world where Blaine has an overprotective billionaire dad and Kurt has a shapeshifting Norse God of Chaos mother (and some things I changed just cause I wanted to, but that is neither here nor there). Also, this chapter will be relatively short since it is, as the chapter says, a summary of Kurt's senior year leading up to Nationals, which is where the conflict will start.
> 
> Also, a quick note of clarification I forgot to put in the first chapter notes: As a shapeshifter, this version of Loki is comfortable in any form or gender, but he identifies as male, and so the story pronouns referring to him will be "he," "him," etc. regardless of what gender he is. However, Kurt will still call him "mother" or "Mom," because that is Loki's relationship to him: he became pregnant with and gave birth to Kurt while in a female form. Also, because I forget how much of this I put in the story, Kurt is the only one of Loki's children besides Slepnir that Loki actually gave birth to--he fathered the other ones. If you are curious about the exact relationships/dynamics of Loki's family in this verse, leave me a comment and I will be happy to tell you (I have this extensively thought out, but not sure how much of it will end up being relevant/appearing in the story--this is still a work in progress). But for now, on with the tale!

                Senior year was…well, not quite what Kurt was expecting. 

                Blaine was at McKinley with him, and an active member of the New Directions.  Their relationship stayed strong, and even went to a glorious new level (he and Blaine couldn’t keep their hands off each other now).  And now that Kurt knew about Blaine’s dad, he was able to truly be there for Blaine when it mattered most: the days when the Avengers turned up on the news, fighting some supervillain or the other.  Kurt would watch the footage with Blaine and hold his hand until they got a call from his dad or someone affiliated with him that let Blaine know Mr. Stark— _Tony_ , sorry, he’d told Kurt to call him that the day they left New York, saying “Mr. Stark” was his father—was okay. 

                The worst days for Blaine were the ones when Iron Man clearly took a bad hit, and the phone call would be from Miss Potts, saying that Tony was in the hospital.  He’d always call Blaine as soon as he was coherent enough, but Kurt could see the worry killing Blaine.  It was especially bad if something happened during school, since they had to make sure no one else found out. 

                For Kurt, the worst days were when Blaine’s dad was fighting his mom.  It wasn’t that he was afraid for his mother—he knew Loki could take a lot of punishment and deal it back out in equal measure.  What terrified him was the thought that his mother would kill Blaine’s father and he’d lose Blaine forever.  Though he tried his best to forget that night at Stark Tower, Loki’s words still hovered in the back of his mind.  His mother was as determined to annihilate the Avengers as the day the team first formed, and his son dating Iron Man’s son wasn’t going to change that, no matter what Kurt did or said.

                But those awful days were fortunately few and far in between.  Most days were just the normal craziness of life in Lima.  Mr. Schuester—and, eventually, a pregnant Coach Sylvester, which was beyond strange—pushed the glee club harder than ever to get them all the way to Nationals, which temporarily caused a rift when some of the girls split off to form a rival club, aided by Rachel’s biological mother, Shelby.  Things got fixed when New Directions won at Sectionals, and Kurt had never been happier—Mercedes had led the revolt, which hurt him more than he’d expected. 

                Quinn had some sort of identity crisis, but resolved it with help from Puck for the sake of their baby, Beth (which Kurt thought was adorable despite how utterly clichéd it was, especially since it led to them getting back together).  The school put on _West Side Story_ , with Blaine and Rachel in the leads and Kurt cheering loudly from the audience.  Kurt and Rachel both applied to an exclusive theater college in New York, NYADA (the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts), and were accepted as finalists, with the last round of auditions to get in scheduled for a couple days after Nationals.  Mr. Schue _finally_ proposed to Miss Pillsbury, which was met with glee by all (pun totally intended).  Finn mused aloud to Kurt about proposing to Rachel, which Kurt fortunately shot down before it got off the ground ( _that_ would have been a _disaster_ ).

                Kurt also met Blaine’s brother, Cooper, who Blaine also didn’t talk about, and was torn between sympathy (because of Blaine’s rough relationship with his brother) and amusement (because Blaine had two secret relatives).  There was also some acute discomfort because there were so many parallels there to his mother and his “uncle” Thor (it was still really weird that Thor was his uncle, especially now that they’d actually met).  Honestly, he spent most of senior year trying _not_ to think about his mother—in fact, Kurt barely saw him, unless he absolutely needed someone to be there for him.

                Losing the election for class president to Brittany, even though his dad won the Congressional race, was the first time that year he felt like he needed his mother.  He was later eternally grateful that when his mother did come, he didn’t say a word about how Kurt could have all the power he wanted if he helped Loki take over the world.  All the God of Mischief did was hold Kurt and reassure him that he was an exceptional young man, and the kids at his school were fools not to realize it.  There were some disparaging comments made towards Brittany, but once Kurt objected his mother immediately ceased maligning his classmate.  Kurt didn’t blame Brittany for his loss one little bit, and fortunately his mother understood that, as nothing horrific happened to Brittany afterwards.

                His mother also turned up after Karofsky’s suicide attempt and once again simply held him, although he could tell Loki was wondering why he was upset over someone who had deeply hurt him.  Kurt had explained without being asked that he felt sorry for Karofsky.  He understood his former bully and wanted to help him, not get revenge against him.  His mother was silent for a long time, before he told Kurt how proud he was of his noble spirit, and that he fully credited Kurt’s father for the wonderfully forgiving individual Kurt had turned into.  He then abruptly left, and when Kurt later went to visit Karofsky in the hospital, Karofsky told Kurt about a strange dream he’d had.  A beautiful woman with dark hair and green eyes had told him to live, because very few people got a second chance to right their wrongs.  Kurt silently thanked his mother before helping Karofsky start that process by agreeing to be his friend.

                The worst moment, though, was when Sebastian Smythe, that horrid little meerkat-faced worm, hurt Blaine.  When that happened, Kurt burned to make Sebastian pay, and his mother arrived the night after to encourage him, even to offer helpful tips (“helpful” meaning “how to make it excruciatingly slow and beyond painful”).  But even after Santana came forward with her tape, Kurt decided that harming Sebastian, stooping to his level, was not the way to win.  He was the son of Loki, after all—he didn’t need to squash Sebastian to prove he was better than he was. He convinced the rest of the glee club to take the high road, Santana gave Sebastian the tape, and Kurt thought that was the end of the matter.

                But then Tony Stark swept into Lima for a spontaneous PR event involving the hospital, which naturally meant that SHIELD and Stark Industries were covering for Tony so he could visit Blaine—apparently Blaine’s mother told Tony after they found out Blaine would need surgery.  Kurt made sure he was at the hospital when Tony was there, and when Tony found out about Sebastian, Kurt saw the same dark glint in the billionaire’s eyes that he’d seen when his mother had found out about Karofsky kissing him (he’d fortunately talked his mother out of ending the other boy’s life, though only after they’d had a huge fight about it).  A week later, Kurt heard through Blaine that an anonymous source had revealed to the Dalton administration that Sebastian had put Blaine in the hospital by throwing rock salt in his eye, and that he had been expelled from Dalton.  Even Blaine knew it had been Tony—who else had the resources to prove it was specifically rock salt?—and neither he nor Kurt was happy about it.  Kurt felt a little mollified, though, to know his mother wasn’t the only overprotective super-powered parent in the world. 

                But those instances were the only times when he saw his mother in person (well, in dreams—it was the best way for them to keep in touch).  Mostly, Kurt’s mother became a dark, spectral figure hovering in the back of his head, his request only coming to mind when Kurt and Blaine talked about the possibility of Tony revealing Blaine to the world once Blaine graduated.  Kurt still had no clue what his answer was, and besides, no matter what he chose someone he loved was going to get hurt (because as terrifying as Loki was, he was still Kurt’s mother).  The one thing he was sure of was that he was _not_ going to tell Blaine the truth, at the very least not until after graduation.

                All Kurt wanted was to be _normal_ , for once in his life.  As senior year drew to a close, he clung to that normalcy, to glee club, to the NYADA auditions, to his human family, to _Blaine_ , like a lifeline in a storm, continuing to hide what he really was from his loved ones. 

                Then Nationals happened, and _everything_ changed.


	3. Getting Hold of a Holliday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a case of mistaken identity kicks off the plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: I understand that the NYADA final auditions in the show took place at the school and not at NYADA itself in New York, but for the purposes of the story (and because I started writing it before Glee revealed that) the auditions are taking place at NYADA in New York.
> 
> Also, if you haven't guessed it already, this fic is AU for Agents of SHIELD. As in, the show never happened/happens in this universe since none of Phase 2 has happened/will happen. Coulson is instead SHIELD's full-time liaison to the Avengers (also, HYDRA? What HYDRA?).

                They had done it.  The New Directions had won Nationals.

                It had been a few hours since Mr. Schue had been handed their first-place trophy, and Kurt was still in shock as the glee club settled into Mr. Schue’s hotel room for some all-night partying (with Mr. Schue supervising, of course).  The trip to Chicago had been everything they’d dreamed it would be, and things would get even better the next day, when he and Rachel were scheduled to fly out to New York for their final NYADA auditions. 

                Rachel was currently harmonizing with Artie and Mercedes as Puck and Sam strummed their guitars, while Mike danced with Tina and Brittany danced with Santana.  Finn sat next to Rachel, squeezing her hand, while Quinn sat next to Puck, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.  Mr. Schue was in the bathroom on the phone with Miss Pillsbury, letting her know the good news.  Kurt was cuddled up next to Blaine, watching his friends with a big grin on his face.  For once, everything in his life was completely normal, and absolutely _perfect_.

                That, of course, was when Blaine’s cell phone started blaring ACDC’s “Shoot To Thrill.”

                Blaine jumped up and, making excuses to the others, quickly went into the hallway, Kurt right behind him.  After making sure there was no one else around, Blaine answered his phone.  “Dad? What is it?”  Kurt vaguely heard Tony’s voice on the other end, and then Blaine’s eyes widened.  “Wait, what?  But Dad, I’m with the glee club in Chicago for Nationals, remember?” More Tony talking, and Blaine’s face went white.  “Wait, say that again? Someone who looks like Pepper? In Lima?”

                “Holly Holliday?” Kurt blurted in surprise. 

                Blaine looked up at him.  “Wait, Kurt, you know who this is?”

                “She’s a teacher.  She helped out some with glee club last year.  She and Mr. Schue dated for a while,” Kurt tried to think of everything he could about the eccentric substitute.  “And she could totally be Miss Potts’ long-lost identical twin.”

                Blaine quickly relayed the information to his father.  Tony said something, and Blaine tried to protest again.  “But Dad-!” Tony immediately cut him off, and Blaine blanched.  “What? Already here?  Dad, seriously!” Tony said something else, and Blaine huffed in resignation.  “Okay, fine.  I’ll get my stuff.”

                Blaine hung up and Kurt felt a brief sensation of panic.  “Blaine, what’s wrong?  What happened to Miss Holliday?”

                He sighed.  “She’s been kidnapped, Kurt.  By someone that thinks she’s Pepper.”

                “Oh my God!”  Of all the things Kurt thought might happen in his crazy life, this was definitely not one of them. 

                Blaine nodded.  “Yeah, and it happened in Lima, too, so my dad is freaking out.  He wants me in New York until they find whoever took her.  He said Agent Coulson’s already in Chicago on his way to get me.”

                Kurt immediately saw about a hundred things wrong with this plan, but then again, that was Tony Stark for you.  He was about to ask Blaine what they were going to do about the glee club when Mr. Schue opened the door.  “Kurt, Blaine, you guys need to come back inside.  I have something I need to tell all of you.”

                Kurt exchanged a swift, panicked glance with his boyfriend before the two walked back into the hotel room.  Everyone else was silent, waiting as they sat down.  Mr. Schue stood in the center of the room and took a deep breath.  “Guys, Emma—Miss Pillsbury—just saw on the news that Miss Holliday has been abducted by an unknown terrorist group.”

                The room erupted into alarmed gasps and confused chatter.  Kurt and Blaine exchanged another panicked look as Mr. Schue calmed everyone down and began explaining what details Miss Pillsbury had been able to tell him, which was apparently even less than what Tony had told Blaine, judging by Blaine’s expression.  He had just finished saying that they were still going to head back to Lima the next day, with Kurt and Rachel still going to New York, when there was a knock on the door.  A very familiar, precise knock Kurt had heard several times while staying in Stark Tower the previous summer.

                They were _so_ screwed.

                Everyone got quiet.  A confused-looking Mr. Schue walked over to the door, looked out the peephole, and then opened the door to reveal the one, the only, Agent Coulson of SHIELD, looking as mild-mannered and professional in his trademark suit as the last time Kurt had seen him.  He was flanked by a trio of very tall, very menacing-looking gentlemen in suits and sunglasses, and Kurt nearly face-palmed.  Blaine’s identity was supposed to be a _secret_.  Who were these clowns?

                Agent Coulson’s eyes flicked briefly—very briefly—to Blaine before they focused on Mr. Schue.  “Mr. William Schuester?”

                Mr. Schue nodded, still confused.  “Yes, that’s me.  Can I help you, Mr.-?”

                “Coulson.  Phil Coulson.”

                Mr. Schue shook the agent’s outstretched hand.  “Mr. Coulson.  What can I do for you?”

                “You are the director of the McKinley High School glee club, the New Directions, yes?”

                Mr. Schue nodded, getting a little more confident.  “Yes, I am.  In fact, as you can see,” he gestured to the group, “the whole glee club is here.  We’re celebrating our victory at Nationals earlier today.”

                Agent Coulson smiled politely and nodded his head to the assembled group.  “Congratulations, all of you.  I’m sure I’ll be hearing repeats of the performance for quite some time.”  At the confused looks from Mr. Schue and everyone else (besides Kurt and Blaine), he nodded to Blaine. “You see, I work with Blaine’s father, and he is very proud of his son’s musical accomplishments.”

                “Blaine’s father?” Mr. Schue glanced back at Blaine.  “Blaine, do you know this gentleman?”

                Blaine glanced at Kurt, but nodded.  “Yeah, I do.  I see A-Mr. Coulson all the time when I go visit my dad in New York.”  He smiled a little.  “You could say he’s my dad’s supervisor.” 

                Kurt couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter (“babysitter” was a better term). Mr. Schue, unfortunately, noticed.  “Kurt, do you know him?”

                “Yes, I met him last summer when I went to stay with Blaine and his dad.”  The dad Kurt’s human family still did not know was Tony Stark, thanks to SHIELD’s normally great cover-up abilities (emphasis on the “normally”—they must have just not had enough time to plan something for this particular situation).

                Mr. Schue turned back to Agent Coulson.  “Is there a reason you’re here, Mr. Coulson?”

                The agent nodded.  “Yes, I’m afraid there is.  There’s been an emergency, and Blaine’s father asked me to come and get Blaine since he can’t make it himself.”

                Mr. Schue frowned.  “But Blaine’s mother is his emergency contact, and she hasn’t told me anything.”

                “She’s being informed of the situation as we speak,” Agent Coulson said smoothly.  “I’ll have her contact you later, if you’d like.  However, I do need Blaine to come with me now.”

                “Where are you taking him?”

                “New York.”

                Mr. Schue’s face grew serious, and for the first time Kurt found himself irritated that Mr. Schue was so protective of them all.  It would have made things a lot easier if he wasn’t.  “I can’t let you do that, Mr. Coulson.  Not until I’ve gotten approval from Blaine’s mother.”

                “Mr. Schuester, I’m afraid you don’t understand.”  Agent Coulson’s voice never seemed to lose its calm, unflappable tone, but Kurt could tell the Avengers’ liaison was getting slightly irritated (the little twitch in his left eye gave him away).  “There is a potential threat to Blaine’s life.”

                Blaine snorted this time.  “Not really.”  Both Mr. Schue and Agent Coulson looked at him—and so did everyone else.  The other kids were already a little freaked out by what Agent Coulson had been saying—Rachel, Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes were clinging to Finn, Puck, Mike, and Sam, respectively, while Artie and Santana were staring at Blaine and Kurt suspiciously (Brittany just had her usual calm, blank expression).  Blaine flushed, and Kurt realized he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  But Blaine kept going.  “Look, Mr. Coulson, you and I both know my dad is freaking out way too much about this. I’m not in any danger.”

                Agent Coulson raised his eyebrow.  “While I agree your father can be a little overprotective, as much as I hate to admit it he actually has a point this time.” He looked back at Mr. Schue.  “Blaine doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation either, Mr. Schuester.  But believe me when I say that if he returns to Lima with you there is a chance he will be in serious danger.”

                “And no offense, Mr. Coulson, but I unless you assist me in ‘understanding’ what this emergency is and I get the OK from Blaine’s mother, he is not leaving this hotel room.”

                “Blaine, what’s going on?” Finn asked quietly as Agent Coulson and Mr. Schue continued to argue in circles, both men getting more irritated by the minute.  “Who is this guy and why is he saying you’re in danger?”

                “They look like the Men in Black,” Brittany blurted, and both Mr. Schue and Agent Coulson got very quiet.  Kurt and Blaine stared at her in panic.  Of course _Brittany_ would say something like that out loud.

                “She’s right, they do,” Mike said.

                “Whoa, Blaine, is your dad, like, a spy or something?” Puck sounded excited—and more than a little impressed. 

                “Is he CIA or FBI?” Artie asked, also excited. 

                Mr. Schue turned back to Agent Coulson.  “Is that true? Do you work for the government?”                 Agent Coulson rubbed his forehead as though he was getting a headache.  He sighed in resignation.  “Yes, Mr. Schuester, I represent a branch of the United States government.  Blaine’s father is a highly-placed consultant for our organization, and we believe that someone may be attempting to kidnap Blaine in order to get to him.  Which is why it is imperative that Blaine leaves with me as soon as possible for New York.”

                Mr. Schue turned to look at Blaine.  “Blaine, is this true?”

                Blaine sighed, and Kurt almost did too.  It didn’t matter if they knew Blaine’s dad worked for the government—just so long as they didn’t find out he was _Tony Stark_.  “Yes, it is.  And if Agent Coulson thinks that I’m really in danger, then I should probably go.  He tends to understand certain things better than my dad.”

                “ _Agent_ Coulson?” Santana said, giving Coulson the once-over.  “This stiff-ass is a spy?” Agent Coulson merely raised an eyebrow, not even dignifying that with a response. 

                Mr. Schue hesitated.  “You’re sure Blaine’s mother is being informed about this.”

                The agent quickly nodded.  “Yes.  I’ll arrange for her to call you in a few hours.”

                Mr. Schue sighed, and then turned to Blaine.  “Alright.  Go get your stuff packed.”

                Blaine quickly jumped up to go pack, with Agent Coulson and two of the SHIELD goons accompanying him; the third stayed at the door.  Kurt did sigh then, in relief.   On the bright side, he might get to keep Blaine company in New York.  Unfortunately, Rachel thought of that too.  “Mr. Schue, Kurt and I are going to New York tomorrow anyway.  We’ll go visit him and make sure that what this guy said was right.”

                Mr. Schue nodded.  “Good idea, Rachel.”

                Kurt quickly spoke up.  “Uh, not so great idea.” Everyone stared at him, and he sighed.  “Okay, let me just say that I already knew about Blaine’s dad.  But there’s a reason why everyone is being so secretive.  If people knew who Blaine was related to, he really would be in danger.  His dad’s got a lot of really powerful enemies.”

                Sam scoffed.  “It’s not like his dad’s Tony Stark or something.”

                Had Kurt been the only one present who knew Blaine’s secret, he would have been able to play the comment off (his mother _was_ the God of Lies).  But unfortunately, there was an idiotic thug clearly fresh out of the SHIELD Academy present.  An idiotic thug who responded to Sam’s comment by charging into the room, gun drawn and yelling, “How do you know that? Who told you?”

                A lot of things happened at once.  The girls—and Sam and Artie—started screaming.  Finn, Puck, Mike, and Mr. Schue threw themselves in front of Sam.  And Kurt promptly ran into the hallway yelling for Agent Coulson.  At his shouts Coulson and Blaine, plus the other two goons, came charging out of Blaine and Kurt’s hotel room, with the three SHIELD agents holding their own firearms.  “Kurt!” Blaine said.  “What happened?”

                “Something really, really bad.”  Kurt rounded on Agent Coulson.  “Your dumbass meathead of an agent is threatening Sam with a gun because he said something remotely connected to Blaine being Tony Stark’s son.”

                The senior agent immediately ran past Kurt into the room, and when Kurt and Blaine returned the other SHIELD agent was sitting in a chair and nursing a nasty black eye.  Agent Coulson stood over him, and Kurt had never seen the agent display so much anger (frankly, he’d never seen this much emotion from him _period_ ).  That guy was _so_ going to get fired. 

                Then Agent Coulson turned to look at the New Directions, all of whom were terrified—except Sam, who was looking at Blaine as though he were a god.  “Dude,” Sam breathed.  “Your dad is _Iron Man_?”

                Agent Coulson promptly face-palmed before turning to the other two SHIELD goons.  “Stay here.  Make sure none of them leave.”  The goons nodded, but Kurt didn’t think they were really necessary.  The New Directions, who were all staring incredulously at Blaine, weren’t going to go anywhere until they got answers—especially a very freaked-out Mr. Schue.

                Kurt took Blaine’s hand and squeezed it when his boyfriend shot him a questioning look.  “Might as well tell them,” he said.  He pointedly ignored the little voice in his head calling him a hypocrite (it sounded too much like his mother for his comfort).

                Blaine squeezed back and let out a huge sigh.  He looked at Sam when he spoke.  “Yes.  My dad is Iron Man.”

                Agent Coulson walked back into the room, and Kurt felt his stomach lurch.   “And now that you know, I’m going to have to ask all of you to come with me.  Now.”

                Mr. Schue moved protectively in front of the other kids, facing Blaine, Kurt, and the SHIELD agents.  “Why should we?”

                “Mr. Schuester, as of tonight you and your glee club have just learned a very high-profile government secret.  There are certain…steps that need to be taken to make sure you will keep that secret.” Agent Coulson shrugged.  “Believe me, I’m not any happier about it than you are.  But it’s standard procedure.”  His gaze turned sharper, and Kurt almost flinched.  Jeez, Agent Coulson in scary mode was almost as bad as his mom ( _almost_ —nothing trumped Loki when he got _serious_ ).  “If you refuse to go, I am authorized to arrest all of you and forcibly take you with me.”

                “Where are you going to take us?” Kurt almost jumped at the sound of Tina’s voice.

                Agent Coulson took a deep breath.  “New York.  To Stark Tower.  To meet Blaine’s father and his team.”

                Several jaws dropped.  “You mean…we get to meet the _Avengers_?” Artie squeaked.  Agent Coulson nodded. 

                Sam fainted and the rest of the club exploded.  Mr. Schue still looked freaked out, but…interested.  Kurt and Blaine just started laughing.  Blaine looked at Agent Coulson with a grin.  “I don’t think they mind anymore, Agent C.”

                And that is how the New Directions ended up squashed in a Quinjet on their way to New York City.


	4. Welcome to New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the New Directions arrive in the Big Apple and meet the people (indirectly) behind their current predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally titled "Arrivals and Explanations," but I decided to change it to something a little catchier. And yes, I've been listening to Taylor Swift's new album, what made you think that? ;)

                The flight to New York was uneventful.  Coulson spent the entire time on the phone, cancelling Kurt and Rachel’s travel arrangements and setting up whatever cover SHIELD was going to use to justify spiriting a group of teenagers (and one adult supervisor) halfway across the country.  He eventually enlisted Mr. Schue to help out, since Kurt didn’t doubt their parental and authority figures (plus Miss Pillsbury) would want explanations from Mr. Schue.  Kurt briefly overheard something about an authority figure in Lima with SHIELD connections that would help smooth things over.  It didn’t surprise him that SHIELD had someone in Lima (no doubt to watch Blaine), but an authority figure…huh.  Who could it be?  He’d have to keep an eye out when they got home.

                With the exception of himself and Blaine, the other kids were a mixture of excited and scared. While at first they all just talked about how amazing and cool the Avengers were, eventually the focus shifted onto Blaine. They had all met Cooper and had assumed he and Blaine had the same dad.  So of course that meant Blaine had to tell everyone the story of how his parents had, well, conceived him (Kurt had heard it all before, so he only half-listened). Blaine’s mother was recently divorced from Cooper’s father and had decided to go out on the town while in Chicago for a business trip (ironically enough).  She’d run into Tony Stark at a club, they’d gotten along swimmingly, and Tony had invited her back to his hotel.   They’d both apparently been too drunk to pay attention to things like condoms and Blaine’s mother hadn’t been on the pill since before she had Cooper, so it was pretty easy for her to pinpoint Tony as the cause of her morning sickness a few weeks later.  With the aid of Stark Industries’ legal team, the two of them had worked out an arrangement whereby he helped pay for Blaine’s care and education in exchange for Blaine’s mother having full custody, with Blaine’s paternity being kept secret from the general public.  Tony was then an absentee father for the vast majority of Blaine’s life, with Miss Potts picking out Blaine’s gifts and taking care of any other arrangements. 

                Then Afghanistan happened, Tony became Iron Man, and he suddenly wanted to reconnect with Blaine. But the first time Blaine visited Tony had a slightly adverse reaction to finding out his son was gay, which didn’t exactly endear him to Blaine (the story Blaine had told Kurt’s dad hadn’t been a lie).  Fortunately, being Iron Man (and dating Miss Potts) made Tony not only a better person, but a better father, and the man Kurt had met the previous summer had come a long way from the man Blaine had met that first summer.  But Tony’s increased involvement meant that Blaine’s secret identity was now a matter of national security, hence the glee club’s little trip.

                The others had listened with great interest, all of them sympathetic towards Blaine having parent issues (most of them did too, in one way or another, though not quite to the extreme degree that Blaine and Kurt did).  After Blaine finished and Sam started barraging him with questions, Finn nudged Kurt (he was sitting on Kurt’s left—Blaine was on his right).  “So you only lied to us about this summer to keep Blaine safe, huh?”  Kurt nodded.  Finn shrugged, said “Okay,” and Kurt let out a sigh.  Finn wasn’t going to tell, which meant he wasn’t going to get in trouble when they got back.  Now he could actually enjoy this impromptu vacation (because that’s what it felt like, for him—he was one of the insiders already, he didn’t have to do anything).

                Around midnight, the Quinjet landed on a private, Stark Industries-owned airfield outside the city.  Agent Coulson led the way down the ramp, followed by Mr. Schue, Blaine, Kurt, and then the rest of the kids.  Of course, waiting for them on the runway was a fleet of SHIELD-issue cars—and one flashy sports car, courtesy of Tony Stark, who bolted towards the Quinjet the minute he spotted Blaine.

                The rest of the group scattered as Blaine dropped his bags and let his dad hug him tightly.  “Blaine! Oh, thank God you’re okay,” Tony said, clutching his son to him.  Kurt blinked.  He had never seen Tony this emotional before.

                Even Blaine seemed caught off guard as he hugged his dad back.  “Hey, Dad, easy, I’m fine, I’m here, I’m okay.”

                The two broke apart when there was a “thump” from behind Kurt.  Kurt turned and had to bite back a laugh when he saw Sam passed out on the concrete, with Mercedes and Mr. Schue trying to wake him up.  There was a bark of laughter from behind him, and he turned back to see Tony cracking up.  “Well, I guess that must be Sam, then.”

                Blaine nodded, clearly trying to hold back his own laughter.  “Yes, sir.  That’s him.”

                Agent Coulson and a couple other SHIELD agents took over waking Sam up, letting Mr. Schue go over to Tony, extending a hand and looking a bit star-struck (who wouldn’t be? This was _Tony Stark_ after all).  “Mr. Stark?  Will Schuester, I’m the New Directions’ faculty advisor.”

                Tony smiled that bright, Stark-trademark smile (Blaine had a variant of it that always took Kurt’s breath away) as he shook Mr. Schue’s hand.  “So you’re the great Mr. Schuester, huh?  Blaine’s told me how great you’ve been, helping him fit in at McKinley this past year.” Mr. Schue looked slightly overwhelmed by Tony’s praise, and Blaine blushed. Tony’s expression then turned serious (as serious as Tony Stark can get).  “I am sorry for all this.” He waved a hand at the SHIELD agents and vehicles.  “I didn’t mean to get you and the other kids mixed up in this.” He glared at Coulson.  “This was supposed to be discreet.”

                Coulson joined Tony, Mr. Schue, and Blaine as Mercedes and a couple of SHIELD agents helped a now-conscious Sam stand up.  “I wasn’t aware you knew the meaning of the word, Stark.”

                Blaine snorted, and Tony pretended to be offended before noticing Kurt.  “Hey, Kurt! How’s it going, kid?”

                Kurt smiled and shook Tony’s outstretched hand.  “Pretty well, Mr. Stark.”

                Tony shook his head.  “What did I tell you about calling me Tony?”  He glanced around at the rest of the club.  “Well, I’d love to do introductions now, but I’m betting that someone,” he glared at Coulson again.  “Would prefer we did those in the safety of a certain tower with my name on it.”  He gestured to the gathering of vehicles.  “Hop in.  The agents will help you load your luggage.  Blaine, Kurt, you’re with me.”

                Kurt nodded and quickly hefted his bags towards Tony’s car, ignoring the slightly jealous looks of his classmates (Sam looked like he was turning into the Hulk).  The ride to Stark Tower was also uneventful, at least in terms of getting any explanations out of Tony.  He seemed determined to avoid talking about their current predicament, instead getting the boys to tell him about the details of their win at Nationals (Blaine had texted him right after the win to let him know). 

                After navigating New York traffic with Tony at the wheel (hopefully the closest to a life-threatening experience Kurt would ever have), they finally pulled into the Tower’s underground parking garage.  The small group of SHIELD vehicles arrived a couple minutes later as Tony helped Blaine and Kurt get their bags out of the trunk.  A valet appeared to take Tony’s car away, and once the rest of the New Directions were unloaded from the SHIELD vehicles Agent Coulson gestured towards the elevators.  “Director Fury wants the kids settled in tonight, Stark.  Introductions and debriefings will happen in the morning.”

                Tony pouted.  “But the others are so looking forward to meeting them!” Both Coulson and Blaine gave Tony matching looks.  “Okay, Steve and Thor are.  But still, Coulson, I thought you liked making Steve happy.”

                One would have to be incredibly perceptive to see the faint blush that briefly colored the veteran agent’s cheeks (Kurt was).  “Fury’s orders, Stark.  Move it.” 

                Tony sighed as Coulson and the other SHIELD agents piled into their cars and headed out.  He then addressed the New Directions in general.  “Alright, you heard the man! Grab your gear and follow me.” He started walking towards the elevators.  “I’ll do my introductions tonight, since I’m here, but Coulson does have a point, you guys are probably exhausted.”  He shot a concerned glance at Blaine at that, and Blaine smiled and nodded back. 

                Kurt was rather impressed.  Tony was acting like a mature, parental host.  He wondered how many threats Miss Potts had to make before Tony agreed to behave; maybe it was just the fact that they were in an emergency situation.

                On the way up in the elevator, Blaine made introductions.  He’d talked to Tony about all of them before, of course, so Tony knew exactly how to handle each introduction.  The girls—even Santana—were a little giggly, especially since Tony turned on his usual charm when greeting them and asking them about themselves.  Kurt thought Rachel was going to faint when Tony started asking her about her theater aspirations.  The guys, on the other hand, were just totally in awe of Tony, especially Sam, who was in full-on fanboy mode.  It took Finn, Blaine, and Puck’s combined efforts to get Sam to let go of Tony’s hand. 

                The elevator eventually stopped on the floor containing the guest suites where Kurt had stayed when he came to visit the previous summer (Tony had refused to let Kurt stay in Blaine’s room, for obvious reasons).  The New Directions stared about, gaping at the luxury of the tower.  Kurt couldn’t blame them; he’d had the same reaction his first time in the building.

                Waiting for them, looking slightly haggard, but still pretty darn flawless, was Miss Potts (Kurt would never stop being jealous of how effortlessly perfection seemed to come to Tony’s assistant-turned-CEO-turned-girlfriend—not to mention her fabulous taste in shoes!).  Of course, the entire glee club, especially Mr. Schue, skidded to a halt when they saw her.  “Oh my God,” Quinn said.

                “She looks just like Miss Holliday!” Rachel said (ever the one to state the obvious).

                “Yeah,” Tony said a little sheepishly, walking over to join Miss Potts.  “Hence, this entire mess. Mr. Schuester, New Directions, meet my better half, Miss Pepper Potts.”

                Miss Potts smiled at the group apologetically.  “I’m sorry for all the trouble.  I know you probably have no clue what’s going on, but I promise that everything is going to be explained in the morning.  For right now, I think everyone should get some sleep.  Especially you,” she added, glancing at Tony with a slightly disapproving look.  He quickly held up his hands and took a couple steps back.  Kurt smiled, and caught Blaine doing the same. 

                Miss Potts greeted Blaine with a hug before sending he and Tony packing upstairs.  Kurt snagged a quick goodnight hug and smooch from his boyfriend, while Tony made exaggerated kissy faces behind Blaine’s back that left the others in stitches.  Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s dad before politely greeting Miss Potts and introducing her to Mr. Schue. 

                Mr. Schue still looked a little shell-shocked as he shook her hand.  “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Potts.  I’m sorry, I just can’t get over how much you look like Holly.”

                Miss Potts smiled.  “I understand the two of you dated for a while.” She put a reassuring hand on Mr. Schue’s shoulder.  “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine.  What intel we have shows that the people who have her haven’t done anything to her, and finding her is SHIELD’s highest priority right now, aside from insuring that Blaine is safe.  Apparently these people want something from Tony, which is why we wanted Blaine brought to New York so we could better protect him.”

                Mr. Schue shook his head.  “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have made a fuss about sending Blaine with Agent Coulson.”

                “But you didn’t know, and that was the point.  Tony wanted Blaine’s identity kept secret so things like this wouldn’t happen.” She sighed.  “But he panicked when he found out Miss Holliday lived in Lima.  Tony is not exactly the most rational person at the best of times, and this, well…”

                Mr. Schue nodded.  “I understand.”

                Miss Potts turned to the rest of the glee club, who had been listening intently to the conversation and all started guiltily when she faced them.  Kurt had to stifle a laugh.  “Well, let’s get you all settled in.  You’re scheduled to meet the Avengers tomorrow at ten, so I’ve arranged for breakfast to be brought to your rooms at about eight-thirty, and I’ll come to collect you at ten till ten.  You should all probably go to sleep as soon as possible—SHIELD’s not big on sleeping during meetings.” Kurt had to stifle another laugh at the dry tone in her voice.  He remembered Blaine’s stories about how his dad had a tendency to fall asleep during debriefings, and how irritated Director Fury or Agent Coulson would get when that happened.

                Miss Potts showed everyone to their rooms, introducing herself to each pairing of students as they reached the room. It had been decided that there would be two people to a suite, and Tony and Pepper had made the rooming arrangements based on what Blaine had told them about the glee club.  Rachel was with Mercedes, Quinn was with Tina, and Brittany was with Santana (Kurt found that to be slightly unfair—why couldn’t he stay with Blaine if Santana got to stay with her girlfriend?).  On the boys’ side, Puck was with Artie, Sam was with Mike, and Kurt himself was rooming with Finn (no surprise there).  Mr. Schue got his own room due to being the resident adult.

                Surprisingly, everyone seemed inclined to follow Miss Potts’ advice.  No one else showed up at Kurt and Finn’s room after Miss Potts left, and aside from Finn being dazzled by the luxury of the guest suite, he seemed as ready as Kurt to go to bed.  Kurt had personally had enough excitement for one day, and the next day was probably going to be even crazier.  Sleep sounded really good right then.

                But just as he was drifting off to sleep, he realized that in all the craziness he’d almost forgotten the reason why he had already been planning to go to New York: the NYADA auditions.  His drooping eyes shot wide open.  How was this situation going to affect his audition?  What if it ruined his chances?

                But just as the worry started building, he abruptly felt a soothing presence in his mind—one that was achingly familiar.  “Mom?” he whispered, softly so that Finn couldn’t hear him (though he was pretty sure he heard snoring coming from Finn’s bed).

                “Sleep, child.”His mother’s voice in his mind was hypnotic, but comforting.  As suddenly as they’d shot open, Kurt felt his eyelids growing heavy.  Within seconds, he was out like last year’s fashions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The New Directions meet the Avengers!


	5. Avengers (and Guests) Assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the New Directions meet the Avengers, and things take a turn for the worse.

                “Good morning.”

                Kurt started awake at the sound of JARVIS’ voice and a simultaneous yelp from Finn’s bed.  “It is 8:30 AM and there is a cart sitting outside the door with your breakfast on it.  Miss Potts would like to remind you that at ten till ten she will be arriving on the floor to collect you for your meeting with Director Fury and the Avengers.  Are there any questions I can answer for you?”

                Kurt sat up, feeling surprisingly alert (a benefit of magically-induced slumber).   “No thanks, JARVIS, we’re good.”

                He glanced over to find Finn staring up at the ceiling in confusion.  His stepbrother looked at him wide-eyed and still half-asleep.  “What the heck was that?”

                “JARVIS.  He’s Tony’s AI.”  Finn gave him a confused look.  “Artificial Intelligence? He’s a computer, Finn.  He runs the tower, and the Iron Man armor.” Kurt paused.  “Come to think of it, he practically runs Tony’s life.”

                “No, that would be Miss Potts, Mr. Hummel,” JARVIS corrected, making Finn jump again. 

                Kurt smirked.  “Good point.”

                “He can hear us?” Finn said, wide awake now.  “Can he see us too?”  He jumped up, eyes darting around the room.  “Has he been watching us since we got here?”

                Kurt rolled his eyes and got out of bed.  “Yes, yes, and yes.  Now come on, we have to get ready.”

                Finn shook his head.  “Uh-uh.  No way am I showering and changing clothes with someone watching me.”

                Kurt gave his stepbrother his trademark “you-are-being-a-moron” glare (well, it will be trademarked in the future, when he is rich and famous).  “Finn, JARVIS is a computer, not a Peeping Tom.  Besides, _Tony Stark_ , aka one of the most heterosexual men alive, programmed him.  I doubt your virtue is in danger.”  He strode over to the door and opened it to find a practical _feast_ outside.  He quickly pulled the cart in and shut the door before turning back to Finn.  “Now, do you want breakfast or not?”

                In the end, Finn’s stomach and his desire to meet the Avengers overcame his uneasiness (not that Kurt could blame him—even he had needed a couple days to get used to JARVIS, and his mother was a Norse demigod that visited him in his dreams).  By ten till ten, both of them had showered, dressed, eaten, and were waiting in the hall for Miss Potts and Blaine with the rest of the New Directions. 

                The elevator chimed exactly on schedule, and Blaine (looking as handsome as ever) stepped out, accompanied by Miss Potts (who looked more like herself than she did last night, which was to say even more perfectly amazing).  “Morning, guys!” Blaine said cheerfully, although Kurt could sense his boyfriend’s anxiety from a mile away.  “Everyone ready?”

                “Are you kidding?” Sam exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down.  “I’ve been ready for this my whole life!” 

                The others looked a lot less certain. “I guess what Sam’s trying to say is that we’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” Mr. Schue said. 

                Miss Potts nodded.  “Good.  If you will all please follow me, Director Fury and the team are waiting.”

                In the elevator, Kurt managed to squish himself next to Blaine and grabbed his hand.  “It’ll be okay,” he whispered with a confidence he didn’t entirely feel.  “I’m sure the Avengers are slightly more mature than we give them credit for.”

                Blaine shook his head.  “You didn’t eat breakfast with them this morning.” But he squeezed Kurt’s hand in thanks.

                The elevator doors opened and the New Directions spilled out into the large conference room after Miss Potts.  A huge table dominated the room, although there were clearly only six to eight people who normally used it, as only six or eight swivel chairs were attached to the floor.  About a dozen or so unattached chairs, all the same sleek black leather as the permanent ones, were also clustered around the table. All the walls except one were windows, letting in the mid-morning sun.  The exception was dominated by a giant television monitor, which was currently displaying the Stark Industries logo over the SHIELD emblem (Tony and his ego at work). 

                However, the room was not nearly as interesting as the group of adults currently seated at the far end of the table, closest to the video screen.  Nick Fury was the only member of the already assembled group standing, and even though Kurt had never met him before, there was no mistaking him.  The director looked exactly like the image from his mother’s memories (a side effect of communicating via dreams—he could see images from his mother’s mind sometimes when they talked): tall, dark-skinned, imposing, dressed entirely in black with a sweeping coat and an eye patch.  Kurt greatly pitied the first member of the New Directions who made a comment about Fury’s eye to his face (it would probably be Brittany—Kurt could totally see her calling Fury a pirate).   Agent Maria Hill, Fury’s Deputy Director, was seated to his right.   She, too, looked exactly like his mother’s memory of her, with her standard-issue SHIELD jumpsuit, sharp blue eyes, and dark hair pulled fiercely back into a bun.   She was sitting ramrod-straight in her chair, arms crossed and a frown pulling down the corners of her mouth (she was going to have awful wrinkles there when she was older). 

                Agent Coulson sat on Fury’s left, looking as placid and impeccable as ever in his suit.  To Coulson’s left was Tony, looking surprisingly alert for ten in the morning and dressed casually in a black shirt and jeans, the ARC reactor glowing through his shirt.  Between Coulson and Tony was an empty seat (no doubt for Miss Potts) and on the other side of Tony sat the other two SHIELD agents: Hawkeye and Black Widow, both in costume.  Agent Barton’s outfit blessedly lacked sleeves, and Kurt couldn’t resist checking out his arms (now _those_ were some mighty fine weapons).  Then Agent Barton winked at him, and Kurt flushed bright red upon realizing he’d been caught (Agent Barton’s codename wasn’t “Hawkeye” for nothing).  Agent Barton just grinned at him, and Kurt saw the briefest twitch of Agent Romanoff’s mouth (which for her was the equivalent of a grin).  She looked as lovely and lethal as the last time he’d seen her, sharp green eyes assessing the group of teenagers and black leather clinging to her curves in a way that had to be illegal (he was gay, not blind). 

                There was, oddly enough, an empty chair between Maria Hill and Captain America, the latter of whom was also in full costume, minus his cowl.  He looked probably the most relaxed and welcoming of the Avengers, already half out of his chair to go and greet the guests with a genuine smile on his face before a sharp look from Fury made him sit back down. On the other side of Captain Rogers was Doctor Banner, dressed in a very plain shirt and slacks combo, looking almost as unassuming as Agent Coulson.  Of course, there was a very good reason why he was seated between Captain Rogers and Thor (at least someone had been planning ahead).  Thor was wearing what Asgardians viewed as casual wear—a sleeveless, armorless version of his “costume”—and all of the girls (even Santana!) had checked him out at least once since walking in the room.  Kurt had to admit; his “uncle” (okay, really, he just started calling him that to annoy his mother) was built exactly like a god should be built (but again, “ _uncle_ ”).  He did catch Blaine oogling Thor a little, but decided to forgive and forget (Blaine was only human, after all). 

                Director Fury nodded to Miss Potts once they were all in the room.  “Thank you, Miss Potts.”  His eye swept over the New Directions, pausing briefly on Blaine and Kurt, which made Kurt tighten his grip on Blaine’s hand.  “If you would all please take a seat, we’re almost ready to begin.”

                “Almost?” Miss Potts said with a frown, going to sit next to Tony as the glee club began jostling for seats closest to the Avengers.  Kurt and Blaine nodded at each other before dividing and conquering—Kurt snagged the chair next to Thor, while Blaine sat next to Black Widow. Kurt saw Agent Romanoff nod politely to Blaine (which was basically her version of a warm smile), and nearly got the wind knocked out of him when Thor clapped him on the back (which was his version of a polite nod). Their classmates (especially an on-the-verge-of-fainting-again Sam) looked disappointed, but then jostled to see who would sit next to Blaine and Kurt instead. In the end, Santana won the fight to sit next to Blaine, while Kurt dragged Finn down next to him (if he had to sit next to his fictive Asgardian kin, he wanted his fictive human kin as near to him as possible).

                “Our agent from Lima should be here momentarily,” Agent Hill said briskly.  “We didn’t want to start without her.”

                “Her?” Mr. Schue asked as he took the seat opposite Fury.  “This agent is a woman?”

                Kurt saw Fury’s good eye twitch.  “Ex-agent.   She lives in the area and was willing to keep an eye on Blaine for us.”

                As if on cue, the elevator chimed.  The doors opened to reveal—

                “Coach Sylvester!” Kurt jumped to his feet in shock.  The rest of the New Directions, Mr. Schue and Blaine included, also leapt up at the sight of McKinley High’s now visibly pregnant cheerleading coach striding into the conference room in what could only be described as a maternity tracksuit (Kurt was firmly of the opinion that it needed to be burned, even more than her atrocious tracksuit wedding dress). 

                “Easy, Porcelain,” she said, wearing her usual droll, “I’m-superior-to-all-of-you” expression.  “I’m not here to make your lives any more difficult than they already are.” She walked up to Mr. Schue and looked him in the eye, her expression softening.  “For once, Scheuster, I’m actually here to help.”

                Mr. Schue looked like someone had punched him in the gut.  “Sue? _You’re_ SHIELD’s ‘authority figure’?”

                Coach Sylvester rolled her eyes. “Who else would it be?  Figgins? Please, that man wouldn’t survive a day in this organization.”  She pushed Mr. Schue back down in his chair, and a quick glare to the New Directions sent them all, including Kurt and Blaine, back into theirs.  She smirked before walking towards the room’s sole unoccupied chair—the one next to Agent Hill.  “See, before I became one of the best cheer coaches in the country, I worked for SHIELD for a while.  I eventually got bored with it after Nicky here—” She grinned at Fury, whose bad eye was starting to twitch as well (seriously, _Nicky?_ Kurt could hear Tony chuckling under his breath from across the table).  “Started trying to settle me into a desk job.”

                “You were becoming a liability in the field,” Fury gritted out from between clenched teeth. 

                “Oh, admit it, Nicky, you were just bitter because I dumped your eyepatch-wearing ass,” Coach Sylvester said, sinking down into her chair. Tony started choking, as did Agent Barton, Captain Rogers, Mr. Schue, and Blaine.  Agents Coulson, Hill, and Romanoff all looked extremely amused, as did Thor and Doctor Banner.  The New Directions were exchanging looks of disbelief and awe.  Kurt personally was on the verge of dying laughing.  His mother was going to get a _kick_ out of this one (if Kurt decided to tell him).  

                “ _Now that everyone is here_ ,” Fury boomed, instantly commanding the attention of the room.  He paused, shooting one last look at Coach Sylvester, before continuing, “We can get started.”  He leaned over and pressed a few buttons on the table’s computerized display.  The video monitor flashed pictures of Blaine and Tony side-by-side.  “You are all here because you are now aware that Blaine Anderson is the biological son of Tony Stark, codename Iron Man.  Let me first apologize for the circumstances of how you learned this—the agent in question has been removed from our organization.”  Kurt idly wondered how one “removed” an agent from SHIELD (and whether or not there was a body bag involved).

                Fury continued. “I presume that most of you understand the importance of Mr. Anderson’s paternity remaining a secret for both his safety and the safety of anyone affiliated with Mr. Stark.”  He glared at the assembled New Directions, who to Kurt’s amusement cowered slightly in their seats (even Santana and Puck).  “In case you do not, let me explain very clearly.  Mr. Stark, as a member of the Avengers, an ally of SHIELD, the owner and CEO of Stark Industries, and by virtue of simply being his asshole self-“ Tony sputtered indignantly, but combined glares from Director Fury and Miss Potts shut him up.  Kurt could see Blaine (and most of the Avengers, for that matter) trying and failing to look serious.  “Has a large number of very powerful, very dangerous enemies.  If any of them were to learn that he has a son, Mr. Anderson would be in serious danger, as many of said enemies are not above harming innocents in order to get what they want.  Therefore, it was necessary to bring all of you here so that we could insure that none of you will reveal this secret to the public, whether on purpose or accident, which will require extensive background checks, several rounds of questioning, and a hefty dose of paperwork.”

                Kurt winced—he’d had to go through SHIELD’s clearance process for his first visit to New York (plus Tony’s own personal clearance process to be accepted as Blaine’s boyfriend) and it had _not_ been pleasant.  It had also taken several hours, which meant they were all going to be here for a while.  Potentially a _very long_ while, depending on how fast SHIELD processed his classmates.  And there was one other thing he’d hated about the process: until SHIELD had finished clearing him, he had not been able to leave Stark Tower.

                Kurt suddenly sat bolt upright. _He had not been able to leave Stark Tower_.

                NYADA. _The auditions were tomorrow afternoon_.

                Director Fury promptly confirmed Kurt’s fears.  “Until you have all been cleared by SHIELD, you will not be permitted to leave the premises.  Depending on how long things take, you will definitely be here for a couple of days, though I promise that once our current crisis blows over we will be able to process you faster.  The maximum possible time could be a week, though I highly doubt that will be the case.” Kurt saw his own panic reflected on Rachel’s face.  The rest of the group showed varying degrees of anger and anxiety.  “Now, I imagine that many of you have concerns, so I will now open the floor to questions.” He held up a hand.  “But the questions may only be directed at me, and may not pertain to anyone else in this room.” He smiled a bit deviously.  “You’ll have plenty of time to ask them questions during your meet-and-greet after I’m gone.”  Steve and Thor perked up at this; Dr. Banner and the two SHIELD-affiliated Avengers didn’t look too pleased.

                Before anyone else could speak, Mr. Schue raised his hand.  “What about Holly?” Miss Holliday.  Right.  Kurt had almost forgotten about her (which was horrible of him, really).

                Fury nodded.  “Ah, yes.  Our current emergency.  I regret to say that we are still looking for Miss Holliday’s location, but we know that she is still alive.  As far as we are aware, the terrorists who have kidnapped her are both very smart and extremely stupid.”

                At the puzzled stares of the New Directions, Agent Coulson clarified.  “They’re very good at hiding from us, but based on the information we’ve received from them, they still think that Miss Holliday is Miss Potts.”  He shrugged.  “Admittedly, we’re letting them believe that so that they’ll keep her alive, but still.”

                “K-keep her alive?” Tina stammered.  “Y-you mean they might kill her?”

                “They will kill her,” Agent Romanoff said matter-of-factly.  “If they find out who she really is.  But so long as they think she’s Pepper Potts, they’ll let her live because they want something from Tony.  And they know they’ll only get it if Miss Holliday stays alive and well.”  Kurt looked at the shocked faces of his teacher and classmates, and saw several of them finally _get_ it. _This_ was why Blaine’s relationship with his dad was a secret.  That, he knew, would probably kill at least some of the questions about why they had to undergo the questioning process, though certainly not all.

                Captain Rogers quickly spoke up.  “She’s fine, Mr. Schuester, and we’re looking for her.”  He smiled reassuringly, and Mr. Schue perked up slightly (Captain America’s smile was, in Kurt’s opinion, one of his greatest superpowers).  “She’ll be okay.”

                Fury looked at Mr. Schue.  “Satisfied?”  At Mr. Schue’s reluctant nod, he turned his attention back to the group as a whole.  “Next question?”

                Kurt moved to raise his hand, but Rachel’s shot up before he could blink.  “Director Fury, sir?  Kurt and I,” she glanced over at him, and he nodded to her in affirmation.  She continued, “have a very, _very_ important audition tomorrow afternoon, and it is imperative to our futures that we be there.  Are you sure that we can’t leave the Tower _at all_ until _everyone_ has been processed? Because I’m sure Kurt’s already been processed if he’s been here before, and if you processed me first then—“

                “You must _all_ be processed before anyone can leave this building,” Fury said firmly.  “I’m sorry, but that’s procedure, and while I may be willing to bend the rules from time to time, I’m sure you both agree that the life and safety of your friend and—” he glanced over at Kurt, “your boyfriend is more important than an audition.”

                “Of course!” Kurt quickly exclaimed, cutting off any potentially disastrous reply Rachel might have made.  However, he wasn’t about to let the point drop.  “But she _is_ right, sir, I was cleared last summer, and I don’t see the sense in keeping everyone isolated here until we’ve all been processed.” 

                “Yeah, do you really think we’re threats?” Mercedes objected.  “We’re Blaine’s _friends_.  We don’t want to do anything that might hurt him.”

                The others began muttering their assent.   Mr. Schue nodded firmly.  “I agree with the kids.  Blaine’s secret is entirely safe with us.  You don’t need some elaborate process to prove that.”

                “As I said, Mr. Schuester,” Fury said.  “It’s standard procedure.  And I feel it is necessary to follow procedure in this particular case.”

                “Yeah, well your ‘standard procedure’ can go to hell,” Puck snapped, startling everyone (except the SHIELD agents—they all just raised their eyebrows).  “I’m not going to be questioned and locked up like some kind of criminal when my boy Blaine knows I have his back.”

                “Well, technically, Puck, you already kind of _are_ a criminal…” Artie said.

                “Shut up, Artie,” Santana ordered.  “I’m with Puck.  Blaine trusts us.  That should be enough for you stiff-ass MIBs too.”

                “My son may trust you,” Tony said, leaning forward in his chair.  Kurt could count the number of times he’d seen Tony be this serious before on one hand (without using all his fingers).  “But no offense, you’re teenagers.  I might have been at MIT when I was that age, but I do remember that teenagers tend to have big mouths.”

                “You still have one, Tony,” Captain Rogers said, rolling his eyes.  Tony started to protest but Miss Potts slapped a hand over his mouth.

                “What I believe Mr. Stark was trying to say,” Agent Coulson interjected.  “Was that this process is less about whether or not we believe you to be threats, and more about us confirming that you are suitable secret-keepers for Mr. Anderson.  You may say that you would never do anything to hurt him, but that’s consciously.  We need to be certain that you won’t betray him _unconsciously_ either.”

                “What happens if we don’t meet your standards?” Mr. Schue asked, deadly serious as well.  “I won’t let you hurt any of these kids.”

                The Avengers and SHIELD agents collectively blanched—even Agents Coulson and Romanoff looked shocked at the suggestion.  “Schuester, you moron,” Coach Sylvester snapped.  “Of course we’re not going to hurt them.”

                Fury actually looked uncomfortable.  “Frankly, we’ve never had to deal with such young individuals undergoing our process.  But I do promise you this, Mr. Schuester—none of your students are in any danger from our organization.”

                The others looked somewhat relieved, but Rachel was still clearly upset.  “But what about Kurt’s and my auditions?”  Kurt felt his heart pounding in his throat as he waited for Fury’s answer, knowing what it would probably be and dreading it.

                Fury turned the full power of his glare on her.  “ _No one_ is leaving the premises until _everyone_ is processed.  That is _final_.”  He glanced around the room.  “Any other questions?”

                Brittany raised her hand.  “Are you a pirate?”

                The comment was met with a few barely-stifled laughs, some wry smiles, and a facepalm from Fury.  “I’m out of here,” he announced, and Agent Hill rose from her seat to join him.  “Enjoy your meet-and-greet.  Coulson, Potts, Stark, Sylvester, make sure things go smoothly.  You have until noon.  After lunch, Agent Coulson and Miss Sylvester will start processing you.”

                Rachel jumped up and got in his way, desperation on her face.  Kurt and Finn tried to join her, but both were quickly restrained by Thor.  “Director Fury, sir, please—”

                Fury’s good eye blazed. “What part of _final_ do you not understand, Miss Berry?”

                Kurt quickly spoke up.  “Let it go, Rachel.  Don’t make things worse than they already are.”  She looked devastated, but she stepped aside to let Fury and Hill leave.  Kurt knew the devastation on his face mirrored hers, and he saw Finn and Blaine looking at them both with concern. 

                Everything he’d ever worked for his entire life had potentially just been destroyed by SHIELD.  His mother was probably laughing at the irony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The meet-and-greet!


	6. Getting To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Captain America breaks the ice (pun intended) and Blaine gets an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry about the very long break in uploads. I am terrible at updating fic. Big thanks to everyone still with me, and the biggest thanks of all to Bridgette and Maddison, whose comments finally got me back to work. Hopefully (hopefully!) I will be able to post the rest of the chapters I already have written soon, at which point the struggle will just be writing the rest of the story down (it's been in my head for years, I roughly know where it's going). But in the meantime, here's the Avengers/New Directions meet-and-greet!

                After Fury and Agent Hill left, the room was dead silent; for how long, Kurt couldn’t say.  He was almost numb himself at the prospect of missing the auditions, what he had worked towards this entire year (if not his entire life).  Maybe he should actually consider his mother’s proposition.  At least that would let him get back at SHIELD for ruining his life.

                Wait.  What was he _thinking_?  First of all, his life was far from “ruined”—he was being way too melodramatic (even for him).  Secondly, it wasn’t SHIELD’s fault that the New Directions were stuck in Stark Tower.  Actually, yes, it was, but Kurt wasn’t going to blame the entire organization for the actions of one overzealous rookie.  They had a protocol—all they were doing was following it.  Thirdly, and most importantly of all, this would keep Blaine safe.  If giving up his dream school meant that he’d get to spend the rest of his life (probably, possibly) with Blaine, then he’d give it up. 

                At the moment, there were other things he should be focusing on.  Like the fact that the New Directions and the Avengers were sitting still and staring at each other in increasingly awkward silence.  Rachel was sobbing in her chair, with Mercedes hugging her and Quinn squeezing her hand.  Next to Kurt, Finn was tense, clearly aching to go to her, but uncomfortable with the idea of moving because no one else was.  He also had a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, showing his reluctance to leave Kurt’s side, correctly guessing that he was as upset as Rachel even if he wasn’t showing it. The other kids—and most of the adults—looked highly uncomfortable and uncertain of how to proceed. 

                Blaine looked, if possible, more upset than even Kurt and Rachel.  His eyes were screaming, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and variations thereof from across the table. Kurt felt compelled to do something, _anything_ , to wipe that pained look off his face.  None of this was Blaine’s fault.  _None of it_.  He didn’t ask to have a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist superhero for a father.  Just like Kurt never asked to be the God of Mischief and Lies’ half-mortal, semi-magical youngest child (yes, he has magic, he just doesn’t use it or like having it to begin with).

                Steve Rogers abruptly got up from his chair and walked over to kneel next to Rachel.   Mercedes and Quinn quickly moved back to give him room.  Rachel looked at him, her face stained with tear-tracks, and everyone watched as he took her hand.  He spoke softly, but in the quiet every word was audible.  “I’ll talk to Fury.  I know what it’s like to have someone tell you no.  The trick is to never give up.  Start running away from a fight, your opponent will never let you stop.”  Then he smiled, that amazing, superhero smile that made part of Kurt melt inside, and after a moment Rachel tentatively smiled back.  She nodded before giving the pleasantly surprised captain a huge hug. 

                After a couple minutes, Captain Rogers was starting to look uncomfortable and the Avengers group was sniggering.  The New Directions joined in once they realized what was so funny: Rachel hadn’t let go yet, and it was very obvious that her hands were not exactly staying still on the captain’s nicely muscled back.  Kurt glanced at Finn and couldn’t stop himself from cracking up when he saw the expression of sheer jealousy on his face.The best part was that he couldn’t tell who Finn was more jealous of—Captain Rogers or Rachel.

                His laugh alerted Rachel to the fact that everyone in the room was watching her grope Captain America.  She practically leapt back from him, her face bright red.  At which point everyone lost it, including, after a couple minutes, a very flustered Rachel and Captain Rogers. 

                The explosion of laughter seemed to wipe most of the tension from the room.  By the time they’d all caught their breath, the New Directions were looking at the Avengers with interest again, and the team—even Dr. Banner and the SHIELD agents—seemed to be returning the favor.

                Naturally, Tony took charge.  “Okay, now that the Capsicle over there has broken the ice,” Captain Rogers turned as red as Rachel had and Agent Barton laughed again, starting off a fresh round of giggles in the New Directions. “We can proceed with the introductions.”  Tony nodded to Blaine.  “Since Blaine’s our common denominator, I’ll let him take over from here.”

                Blaine stood up from his chair, looking significantly more relaxed, much to Kurt’s delight.  “Okay, here’s how this is going to work.” Clearly, he and Tony had planned this out beforehand.  “I’ll say your name, and then you can say something about yourself that you would like the team to know.  For example, Kurt,” Blaine looked at him, silently asking for help, and he quickly nodded in response.  Blaine smiled before continuing.  “I know these guys have met you already, but if this was your first time getting to meet the Avengers, what would be the one thing you would want them to know?”

                _That I am not my mother’s son_.  But since he clearly couldn’t say that (or anything related to him being related to Loki and/or Thor), he said the next best thing.  “That I love you, Blaine Anderson, and that I will never, ever, put you in danger.” Blaine beamed.  Tony and Agent Barton made exaggerated gagging noises, which sent the New Directions into another giggle fit.  The rest of the Avengers and the SHIELD agents rolled their eyes in perfect sync.

                Finn leaned over to whisper to Kurt.   “Man, they act just like us!”

                Kurt grinned.  “Oh, you haven’t seen _anything_ yet.”

                Following Blaine’s lead, the New Directions introduced themselves one-by-one to the team.  Sam, of course, said he was their biggest fan and begged for their autographs, which they all happily gave him.  Mercedes said she was Sam’s girlfriend, which earned her Miss Potts’ sympathy and a good-natured ribbing from Tony and Agent Barton. 

                Brittany informed them she was a unicorn, and everyone but Thor exchanged looks.  Thor merely nodded sagely, which made everyone look at him.  He returned the gazes in puzzlement.  “What? It makes sense! Unicorns often disguise themselves as fair young maidens to mingle with humans.”  There was much stifled laughter, Kurt’s included (though Thor was telling the truth, his mother had taught him the same thing), but Brittany practically glowed at Thor calling her a fair maiden, so no one bothered to enlighten him.

                Quinn mentioned her acceptance to Yale, which impressed the team (even though two of them are certified geniuses and the others are far from dumb).  Puck mentioned Beth, which got him points with Tony, and shockingly Miss Potts.  The others weren’t impressed (obviously), but they clearly appreciated how much Puck loves Beth.  Kurt caught Quinn watching Puck with a look of pride in her eyes, and smiled.  He may not be best friends with either of them, but he can definitely appreciate how far Puck’s come in the past three years.  Being a father really did make him a better man (a worthier man for Quinn), which is saying something considering Puck’s own daddy issues.

                 Tina proudly proclaimed that she was a goth, which confused Thor and Captain Rogers (the others promised to explain it to them later, much to Tina’s gratitude).  Mike shyly mentioned his love of dance, and was promptly challenged to DDR by Tony and Agent Barton post-meet-and-greet.  Artie brought up his position as the captain of the Academic Decathlon team, and Dr. Banner surprised everyone by seconding Tony’s insistence on Trivial Pursuit post-DDR.  Kurt wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the doctor this relaxed, but then again Dr. Banner was the Avenger he’d interacted with the least the previous summer.  He had tended to stay in his lab for hours on end, similar to Tony, only since he hadn’t had a teenage son visiting with his boyfriend he never had any reason to leave the lab.  Kurt had preferred it that way—he hadn’t wanted to run any risk of meeting Dr. Banner’s green alter ego (he’d had nightmares for weeks after glimpsing his mother’s memories of the Hulk).

                Santana was next.  “I’m Santana Lopez, and, well, I’ve always wanted to learn martial arts, but just never had the time.  Plus there isn’t really any good place to learn in Lima.”

                At that, Agent Romanoff actually _smiled_.  It was a tiny smile, but that didn’t make it any less dangerous (his mother smiled like that sometimes—people tended to get hurt afterwards).  Tony actually ducked behind Miss Potts when he saw it, and Agent Barton’s eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline.  “I could show you a few moves while you’re here, if you’d like,” she said.

                Santana’s eyes went wide.  “Oh my God, really? I’d love that!” Several people on the Avengers side of the table winced, though Santana was so excited she didn’t notice.  Kurt was already calculating how many bruises Miss I’m-So-Tough-‘Cause-I’m-From-Lima-Heights was going to have after a round with the Black Widow.

                Finn was next, and of course he felt compelled to say that he was Kurt’s stepbrother.  Kurt caught a brief flash of pain in Thor’s eyes before Tony jumped in.  “Then I assume you have excellent blackmail material on this kid then.”  He winked at Kurt.  “You know, in case he goes breaking my little boy’s heart.”

                “ _Dad_ ,” Blaine said, turning bright red.  Kurt flushed as well, but laughed with everyone else—he knew Tony was only half-teasing (he made a mental note to keep Tony and Finn apart just in case). 

                Rachel, of course, said that it was her dream to be a Broadway star.  Miss Potts asked her about the audition thing, and once she’d explained it (with Kurt throwing in a few comments here and there), Tony, Miss Potts, and Thor were seconding Steve’s motion to talk to Fury.  The SHIELD agents exchanged significant looks, but Agent Coulson told Rachel that she could definitely be processed first, if that was what she wanted.  Kurt had a feeling that nothing the Avengers could say would change Fury’s mind, even though they were doing this for Tony in the first place.  Still, it felt good to know that Captain America, Iron Man, and the Mighty Thor had their backs.  From the way Rachel was smiling, he knew it made her feel better too, and he kept his doubts to himself.

                He also told the little voice in his head that sounded like his mother to shut up when it whispered that the Avengers wouldn’t have his back if they knew who (what) he really was.  He did not need (or want) to think about that right now.

                Mr. Schuester’s interesting fact was his engagement to Miss Pillsbury, which earned him a round of congratulations.  “Speaking of which,” Blaine said slyly.  “Dad, when are you finally going to propose to Pepper?” Tony and Miss Potts both immediately turned red and started sputtering, causing the table to break out in laughter.

                With introductions finished, everyone started getting up and mingling, since they still had plenty of time to kill until noon.  Soon, both groups were swapping stories and jokes (though Mr. Schue, Miss Potts, and Agent Coulson immediately censored anything that might veer into TMI territory).  Tony, Dr. Banner, and Agent Barton made plans with Mike and Artie for their after-lunch competitions, and Agent Romanoff talked with Miss Potts about finding Santana some workout sweats for their little lesson. Thor told Brittany and the other girls more stories about unicorns (at which point he figured out that Brittany was, in fact, not a unicorn), while a blushing Captain Rogers told the boys stories about WWII.

                Kurt went straight to Blaine and gave him a big hug.  “Told you this would go well,” he whispered. 

                Blaine pulled back, looking surprised and a little upset.  “But your audition-“

                Kurt quickly cut him off.  “Blaine, _you_ are way more important to me than getting into NYADA.  If leaving the Tower means I might be putting you in danger, I won’t do it.” Suddenly, Blaine got this look in his eyes.  It reminded Kurt of Tony, and not in a good way. A slight feeling of dread formed in the pit of his stomach.  “Oh, no, I know that look. And while it looks better on you than your dad, I still don’t like it.”

                “Kurt,” Blaine said slowly.  “What if there was a way for you to go to the audition without me being in danger?”

                “What are you talking about?”

                Before Blaine could answer, someone asked Coach Sylvester about her relationship with Fury.  Despite a distressed Agent Coulson’s protests, the entire room gathered around to hear when she started telling the story of how they met on a Black Ops project in New Zealand. While Kurt enjoyed it (though Coach Sylvester regrettably had to censor parts of it at the insistence of the mature adults in the room), every time he glanced over at his boyfriend, Blaine looked like he was only half-listening.  Behind those gorgeous eyes, some serious wheels were turning.

                Kurt found himself praying to just about any deity he could think of (minus the Norse pantheon—he wasn’t _that_ desperate) that Blaine’s resemblance to Tony stopped with his good looks and quick wit.  Because if Blaine had inherited Tony’s talent for getting into trouble…well, he was both extremely screwed and totally going to start planning their wedding.


End file.
